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(after session 11, part II)
by Randall Morgan

Ok, here is the newest. It is the second part to the last gapfiller. The adventures continue in Pittsburgh. Hope you enjoy it. Hint, don't read it around children, rated X! R.

Justin, famished, devoured the dinner Brian brought him. Brian had turned on the television while his lover ate, aimlessly trolling through the stations with the remote control while lying back on the bed, fully clothed. Nothing caught his attention. He was thinking of Jeffrey at Babylon, hot new meat besieged by enthralled predators.

"You want this lemon bar? I'm stuffed," Justin offered and Brian shook his head.

"You know I don't eat sugar."

"I'll save it for later," he closed the bag and crept up on the bed, suddenly pouncing on his lover, covering his face with kisses. Brian smiled, switched the television off and spread his hands on Justin's ass.

"Didn't you get enough?"

"Never enough," Justin quoted him, causing Brian to laugh. Brian outstretched his arms on the mattress, closing his eyes.

"You drive," he said softly. "Do with me what you will."

Justin smiled and started by removing Brian's shoes and socks. He sucked gently on his warm toes, and then licked the fine bones of his feet, causing Brian to shudder. He caressed the arch of his foot, before he circled the prominent ankle bone with the tip of his tongue. Sliding his palms up Brian's calves, over his knees, his thighs, his abdomen, Justin paused to roll his sweater and t-shirt up and over his head and off his arms. Brian's torso revealed, Justin drifted to his nipples, twisting them with his fingers until they were as hard as pebbles. He sucked and nibbled first one, then the other. Brian moaned and let a hand spread in Justin's blond hair, stroking him with gentle appreciation.

Justin smiled up at him, and then let his tongue slip down Brian's midline opening his jeans and unhooking each metal button of his fly. He eased the soft, worn denim down his long legs. As usual, Brian wore no underwear, and his heavy penis was already erect. Justin tossed the jeans on the floor and straddled Brian's powerful thighs. He made sure he held Brian's gaze as he dipped down and enfolded the glistening knob between his puffy lips. Brian groaned and bucked his hips upward, responding to the overwhelming sensation. Justin felt the shaft slip past his teeth, into the moist cavern of his mouth, grazing the ridges on the roof of his mouth, aiming at the soft tissue at the back of his throat. He took him as far as he could without gagging, then withdrew from him and pumped the hard rod in his hand as he said, "I want you for dessert, Brian. I'm going to swallow every drop you can feed me."

"Do it," Brian responded with a groan. There was no room for thoughts of Jeffrey in his mind now. All he could think about was how much he wanted Justin, how much he loved him. He watched his pretty, flushed face slip back down on Brian's cock, recreating the flash of heat. He saw how pink Justin's lips looked on the hard white marble of his dick, the visual adding to his pleasure. Brian felt his ejaculation build in waves of increasing intensity. His abdominal muscles were like steel under the flat of Justin's left hand. The wall of his groin pulled into a tight knot to propel the fluid out of his tubes and into the waiting warmth of his lover's mouth. The orgasm overtook him in a seizure of muscular contractions and rippling titillation of his nerve endings, pumping the semen out of his body in multiple spurts that Justin sucked down as if it were ambrosia.

While he was still recovering, Justin took Brian's hand and slipped it down the waistband of his sweats, to encircle his hard phallus. Almost automatically, without really thinking about it, Brian began pulling him in a familiar gesture with a pre-destined result. Justin shot his load on Brian's bare torso, then leaned over and cleaned it off of him with his tongue, licking up every pearly drop, comparing how he tasted to the flavor of his lover. Brian pulled him on top of him, kissed him deeply, their combined flavors still on Justin's tongue as he sucked eagerly at it. He rolled him on his side and encircled Justin in his arms, pressed against his back, closing his eyes. He was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, at last. With his lover in his arms, he felt the comfort he needed to slip into that delicious state of nothingness. His lips parted, breathing in a regular rhythm, Brian was finally nearing the desperately needed release of slumber when Justin said, "I need to go back to the hospital."

Brian groaned, the elusive promise of rest escaping him once again. "Now? It's after eleven. Wouldn't Jennifer call you if she needed you?"

"I've left her alone all evening. I really need to go back, Brian."

"I wanted to sleep with you," Brian complained. "Hold you in my arms. Wake up with you. Just have your body next to mine. I'm so tired and..." he stopped. He didn't want to heap guilt on Justin. The kid had bigger things to worry about than whether Brian could sleep without him. "Give me a minute. I'll get dressed and take you over there."

"I can get a cab," Justin offered, but Brian shook his head. He was awake now anyway, so what the fuck? The drive to the hospital was made with little conversation, and once there, Justin kissed him and said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be a twat. Of course you need to be here. Tell Molly I'll come by to see her tomorrow."

"Ok. Brian, why don't you go to Babylon?"

Brian narrowed his eyes at him. "What the fuck?"

"I know you want to. It's your old stomping grounds. You must be curious to see it again."

"You trying to hook me up?"

"No! I don't mean go to the backroom or pick up a trick, although I guess if that's what you want to do, I can't stop you. I meant to dance and see old familiar faces."

Brian smiled and lit a cigarette. He knew sleep wasn't happening, even though he wanted that more than just about anything. "I might. Maybe dancing will tire me out."

"I haven't said anything, but Jeffrey was wonderful earlier today with my mom. And even with me," Justin said with a sigh. "He made the doctors answer a bunch of tough questions and he had some ideas they should add to their treatment protocol. He was really incredible, Brian. I may hate him for wanting you, but Christ, he wants to save my sister, so how selfish can I be? Even as a dumb ass, so many of his ideas made sense to me. A lot of it had nothing to do with her medical treatment. It had to do with making her more comfortable, increasing her appetite, decreasing the side effects of chemo, using homeopathic sources to heal what he called her 'general debilitation'. When he spent some time with her, he had her laughing, even though she's terrified of doctors. Watching him, I thought of what a selfish little prick I am. All I can think about is this gorgeous guy is after my boyfriend. But he may be able to save my sister's life. How can I dislike him?"

Brian leaned over and kissed him gently. "Don't worry about Jeffrey, Sunshine. He's my problem. I'm just sorting things out. I feel the same way towards you that I always have. I'm not in love with Jeff. I want him to be my friend, Justin. I don't want to have any ambivalent feelings about him."

Justin spread his hand on Brian's cheek as he whispered, "But you do."

Brian said nothing, feeling his heart flip at the poignant expression on Justin's face as his lover leaned closer and said, "I've been there, Brian. I came out the other side. I know we're meant to be together. I just know it. But you have to find that out for yourself. It can't be forced. I learned that lesson. I can be patient. I have confidence in our love."

With that, he left the car. Brian sat there, idling, until Justin disappeared inside the hospital corridor, then he sighed and put the big car in gear. He was riddled by guilt, confusion and an almost painfully intense sensation of love for the wise, young, blond.

Melanie was shocked to find Brian Kinney at her door shortly before midnight. "I thought you moved." She was up late, working on a brief. She was tired and her nerves were strung thin.

Brian nodded. "Hello to you, too."

"Sorry, Brian, but it's midnight."

"I want to see Lindz."

"She's asleep. So is Gus. Why don't you come back at a normal time tomorrow?"

He stared at her, trying to gauge if there was a chink in her resolution. He saw no sign of that. "I really need to talk to her, Mel."

"She had a long day. Gus is getting over a cold and kept us both up last night. Give her a break, Kinney."

He sighed, scrubbing his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. "Shit."

"You look like you could use a little sleep yourself."

"Tell her I'll call her before I leave town and arrange a time to visit Gus." He turned to walk away, hunched into his leather jacket, his head lowered in the cold wind. Melanie sighed, suddenly feeling a surge of sympathy for the big lug.

"Brian!" He turned, his expression questioning. "You want to come in and take a look at Gus? But please don't wake him up."

He nodded, going upstairs with her, into his son's room. The baby slept with his lips parted, his breathing thickened by his congestion. A humidifier in the shape of a smoke breathing dragon dampened Gus's hair and skin. Brian leaned over the crib, rubbing a slow circle into his back for a moment, while Melanie leaned in the doorway, watching. He covered him up and walked out.

"Thanks," he said softly and she reached out and took his arm at the front door.

"Are you ok? Is it Molly?"

He shrugged. "Partly. I'm fine. Thanks, Mel." He left the house, and got into the car, driving straight to the diner. It was a strange in- between hour, with most of the regular patrons still at the clubs. He sat at the counter, acknowledging Debbie's greeting with a nod. She was finally freed up and she sat on the stool beside his, pouring them both cups of coffee.

"What's on your mind, Brian? I didn't expect to see you again tonight."

"I took Justin to the hospital to be with Molly."

"I see. I know it's rough, honey," she patted his arm. "Your mom has been a real help to Jennifer, bringing food to her house and helping out at the hospital."


"Maybe I've misjudged her."

"Maybe we both have, Deb. Who knows? Good and bad in everyone, I guess."

"Why so blue?"

He shrugged. "Just tired."

"Is it strange, coming back here?"

"Yeah, I feel like I was never here."

"Trust me you were, Brian. You left an indelible mark."

"Like a stain?" he teased, raising a brow. Debbie laughed at him.

"More than one stain, I'd wager."

"You still boinking that cop?"

She punched him on the shoulder. "You're still not big enough to talk to me that way! I'll knock you into last Tuesday!"

He laughed. "Inquiring minds want to know...or not."

"Are you and Justin doing ok? I know this has to be a strain. What a horrible thing to happen. And right after you two put it together, finally."

"I don't want to lose him, Deb."

"Lose him? He gave up a lover and moved to New York to be with you. Why would you lose him?"

Brian shrugged, and she reached over and lifted his chin on her fingertips so he would look at her. "What's going on?"

He pulled away, staring into the ebony depths of his coffee. Surely the answer resided in that brew, he seemed to be thinking. "Nothing."

Debbie laughed. "I haven't bought that word in that tone of voice since you were thirteen, Brian."

He smiled, and then leaned back, slowly meeting her gaze. "I know he gave up a lot and took a big chance to move to New York to be with me, Deb. But..."

"But what?"

"I can't help but think of how I felt when I saw him kissing...his...the other guy. How I felt when I was alone after he left. How I never want to feel that way again. It gets in the way. It's fear, maybe. Insecurity, I don't know. I'm seeing a shrink, as I'm sure Mikey told you, to work through my demons. But Justin, as much as I love him, makes me feel off-center. I don't feel safe with him."

"Honey, that's called love. No one ever feels a hundred per cent safe with someone they love that much. You give so much of yourself to another person, you wonder if you'll regret it later. And you've been burned, once, so you're even more cautious. But ask yourself, Brian; were you happier when you didn't have him? If not, you'll have to assume some risk."

He shook his head slowly. "What if we're wrong? What if he was with the right guy and I broke them up?"

"He was with the right guy the first time. Someone else broke you up. He's come home, Brian. Allow yourself to be happy."

"I'm trying."

"I know you are and I'm so glad you're finally getting some help. It will all work out, Brian. You two are a great love story. We all want to see you succeed. By the way, I really like your friend, Jeffrey. He's not only a lifesaver, literally, but he is gorgeous and sweet."

Brian sighed and nodded. "Yeah, he is."

"He'll be the belle of the ball at Babylon," she said with a laugh.

Brian looked at her, and there was such turmoil in his eyes that Debbie's smile faded. She held his gaze for a long moment, no words passing between them, and then she whispered. "Oh god, Brian. Oh no."

He stood up, leaving some cash on the bar to more than cover the coffee. He brushed her cheek with his lips and turned to go, but she grabbed his arm and held tight to the leather. "Don't go to Babylon, Brian. Stay here."

"I wish I could," he said with a sigh. He didn't look back at her as he pulled free of her hold and left the diner. Debbie watched him go, feeling as if she was helplessly watching him walk into the path of an oncoming train.

Before entering Babylon, Brian pulled off his sweater, wearing a plain black cotton t-shirt underneath. He topped it with his leather jacket and glanced at his image in the rear view mirror. Had he aged? Did he still have it? Would anyone remember or even care? Why the fuck did he care, anyway? He didn't even want to be here. He had outgrown Babylon awhile ago. But...he had enough ego to want to be desired, to have that same old magic when he entered the club. He tried not to meet glances or acknowledge anyone as he went straight up to the catwalk which afforded him the best view of the dance floor. Several men approached him, assuaging his insecurity, but he was looking for only one. Then he saw him.

Jeffrey had shed his red sweater, and his heather gray sleeveless undershirt was plastered to the lean muscles of his torso by a sheen of sweat. He had been dancing hard and often, his glasses still on the bridge of his nose, his hair disarrayed. Brian realized he had never looked sexier, a bar of platinum in a vault full of gold and silver. If Ted and Emmett were still around, he didn't see them, which was just as well. He went up to the disc jockey's glassed in booth, removing some cash from his wallet as he walked.

Jeffrey looked up when his partner was suddenly blocked by a tall man in black. His annoyance quickly shifted into excitement as Brian turned to face him. The music changed from pounding disco to a dance version of tango rhythms. The others could continue their body displaying bumps and grinds, but when Brian held his arms out, Jeffrey knew what he wanted. Smiling, Jeffrey glided into them without a word. Their eyes locked, their bodies melded together in a familiar abrazio, or embrace, they started la cadencia, which was the walk without the progressive movement, just marking time in place in sensuous steps. Around them, dancers stopped to watch, taking in this unusual style of dance in a club like Babylon. The fact that it was the legendary Brian Kinney only increased their interest. Babylon lost a star when Brian left town.

No surprise that Brian immediately honed in on the hottest guy there that night, but what was he doing? Oblivious to the attention, Brian began the el paseo, or stroll. Jeffrey followed, in perfect step, their gazes fused and hands and arms held tight and with grace as the others moved aside to allow them a line of dance. They were the same size, the same body type, moving with the liquid ease of felines as they drew the attention of the room. Around they went and back again, entertaining the others with fancy footwork where their thighs insinuated between their partner's legs and out again, their feet mingling and clearing. At one point Jeffrey smiled and threw his head back, allowing Brian to lead him through a slow spin and back again into their frame. Among the watchers were Emmett and Ted, who stared in wonder at this alien who possessed Brian Kinney's body. It was hot, it was beautiful to see, it was...romantic. And it was not with Justin.

When the song ended and the music went back into a dance loop, Brian didn't immediately release Jeffrey. Nor did he acknowledge the applause of his audience. He didn't really notice the audience; his attention was so fixed on Jeffrey. "Let's get out of here," Jeffrey said, and Brian held his hand tightly as they left together.

"I guess this means I get to keep his red cashmere sweater," Emmett finally said to Ted. "And you can have the alpaca overcoat."

Ted sighed. "I guess this means big trouble." They shared a silent communication, and then left the club to find Michael. Some dish was too momentous to wait until morning.

In the parking lot, Jeffrey grabbed Brian by his jacket front and kissed him hard on the mouth. Brian let him do it, and then reluctantly backed away, shaking his head. "Please Jeff, don't do this."

In the car, Jeffrey pulled on Brian's discarded sweater, and stared hard at his profile. "Don't look so fucking hot if you don't want me to kiss you, sexy boy."

Brian smiled, pulling into traffic. "It's such a struggle for me to look bad."

"That's not a joke. If you won't do me..." Jeffrey said in a voice hoarse with sensuality, and Brian glanced at him, and then stared as Jeffrey opened his fly and pulled out his semi-erect penis. Brian laughed.

"You are not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you? Not while I'm driving."

"I think I am, as a matter of fact," Jeffrey leaned his back against the window and spread his thighs wide, slowly masturbating with his right fist. "See what you do to me, Brian? You make me crazy." When Brian almost left the road, he forced his attention on his driving, but he took as many glimpses at Jeffrey as he could without endangering their lives. The idea of his cool and sophisticated friend whacking off in semi-public inflamed him. He watched Jeffrey's skin become flushed, his penis become rigid and swollen, bulging above the tight circumference of his hand.

"I'm watching you as I do it, Brian. Your perfect nose, your beautiful lips, that square jaw, those eyes...God, those eyes...and your fucking body... I'm admiring you while I do it." Brian could hear the smacking sound of pre-cum lubricating his strokes, and he felt his own body respond with an answering heat. He shifted his weight and adjusted his crotch to give his penis room to expand inside his tight jeans.

"Are you crazy? If I pull up to the stop light next to that bus, they can look down into the car," Brian said softly, staring hungrily at Jeffrey while the red light held them captive. He stopped back from the bus, but Jeffrey laughed.

"Don't worry about it, I don't care. So they see some attractive man beating his meat at a stoplight. There are worse sights to be seen in this world."

"It's called public lewd. They bust you for that."

Jeffrey moaned and leaned his head back against the glass as the light changed. "I'm going to shoot, Brian. I'm going to come all over your fucking sweater."

Brian winced as his own cock throbbed miserably under tight cover. He turned sharply into a shopping mall, deserted, because it was so late. He pulled into the most secluded spot he could find and idled the engine, leaving the car running to provide not only heat but a low cast of light. Jeffrey felt Brian's gaze fix on him with eager anticipation just as he shot his load. He allowed the stream of cum to stripe Brian's sweater in three distinct tracks. Watching Jeffrey reach satisfaction made it impossible for Brian. He struggled with the buttons on his fly. He had to take it out before it was too late. Jeffrey reached over and rolled Brian's t-shirt up his belly to reveal his skin. Brian pumped his own erection a few times in rapid succession, before he released a blast against his belly. He still held it in his fist, eyes closed, until the throbbing stopped.

He opened his eyes just as Jeffrey leaned over and delicately licked it off his stomach like a child licking the icing off a spoon. Brian let him do it, enjoying the sensation while his body sought a more normal pace. He deliberately didn't let his mind wander to earlier that evening when Justin licked his own sperm off Brian's belly. When he was clean, Jeffrey rolled his shirt back down and smiled up at him. "I love a late night snack."

Brian replaced his softening dick in his jeans, still too shaky to drive. Just then a bright light flooded the car. Brian winced as a security guard rapped on the glass of his window with a mag light. Brian glanced at Jeffrey who smiled, his own penis back under cover. Brian lowered the automatic window, as he said, "You mind getting that light out of my eyes?"

"What are you boys doing?" The rent-a-cop asked suspiciously. He rolled the beam up and down their bodies, but the only telltale evidence was the cum stain drying on the sweater Jeffrey wore, and he wasn't close enough to see that clearly.

"Problem, officer? I'm a doctor. I got an emergency page," Jeffrey flashed his text pager at the man. "It was too dark to read it and Brian felt it wasn't safe to turn on the interior light in traffic."

"I didn't see no light," the man said with a scowl, and Jeffrey smiled.

"Must have read it by then. We were just leaving."

"Ok, well...the mall is closed. Move on."

Brian put his window up and laughed as he started the car and drove towards the road. That was too close. A few seconds earlier and both he and Jeffrey could be on their way to a lockup and public humiliation. Cops liked nothing better than busting fags. "A page?"

Jeffrey shrugged. "Worked, didn't it? Anyway, I did get a page."

"When?" While Brian admired Jeffrey's quick thinking under fire, his easy facility with lying was vaguely disturbing.

"I don't know, while we were doing what we were doing."

"Who sent you a page?"

"One of Molly's doctors at St. Joe's."

"You're just now telling me? Is it an emergency?"

"I just now read it," Jeffrey said defensively. "I'm not her treating physician. They wouldn't call me in on an emergency unless it was life threatening. He just left me a telephone number," Jeffrey removed his mobile from a pocket and dialed the number off his pager. Brian watched him nervously, ready to divert to the hospital, but Jeffrey indicated he didn't need to do so, talking quietly to the doctor for the remainder of their drive to the hotel. Once he parked the car there, Brian turned to him as Jeffrey hung up.


"Got some blasts back. I asked them to re-test."


"And, I think the family should be tested for bone marrow match."

Brian felt his stomach lurch. "Why?"

"Bone marrow transplant is a very common tool when fighting leukemia, Brian. And the best match is family. Notably, sibling. It's time we found out if there's a match."

"By sibling, do you mean Justin?"

"I do, yes. He's her only sibling."

They got out and walked towards the hotel, silent, until they were in the elevator. "Is it dangerous?" Brian asked.

"For the donor? There's a slight risk. Not high. It's painful, however. I won't lie about that. Not the test, that's nothing. But the actual harvesting of bone marrow is not a happy event."

"Then I don't want him to do it."

"Would you deprive Molly of that chance of success to save Justin a little pain? And isn't it his choice, not yours?"

"Take my bone marrow. I'm bigger than him."

"Unless you're his brother, which raises a whole host of scary issues, then no, it's not going to work, darling."

Brian frowned. "Fuck."

"Let's not worry about it tonight. Want to come in?" He paused at the door to his room, sliding two fingers up Brian's lapel. "You look exhausted. Come lie down with me for awhile. No funny business."

Brian sighed. "I can't, Jeff. I...I have something I have to do." He kissed him on the lips, a non-romantic buss, and then left him there, headed back to his car.


Disclaimer: The television show Queer As Folk and its characters are the property of Showtime and CowLip Productions. No money is being made. Stories and discussion are intended purely for the entertainment of fans of Queer as Folk, the Brian and Justin characters, and Randall's writings.
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July 25, 2004