For all you night owls, even if I write another series before doing a sequel, I thought it would be fun to see what Justin and Brian write home about their travels together. So, I plan to post periodic letters home to give us all a chance to share their "honeymoon" from their perspective. Not a real writing challenge, just fun. Here you go, with love from Randall.
It took us awhile to get here, but your brother and I are finally in Venice, which is supposed to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world. What a surprise when our train pulled into the station and we walked outside and found out that all the streets are flooded! Not only that, but the Venetians must be used to this kind of thing because all the taxis are boats!
I enclose a photo of Justin and me in a gondola. We were on our way to see the four horses the Venetians stole from the hippodrome in Constantinople. A hippodrome is a fancy word for racetrack. The horses are on the top of the Basilica of San Marco, but the true story is (I never take anything at face value anymore!) the horses are inside the museum of the church and the ones on the roof are FAKES.
We went under the Bridge of Sighs, and they say if you kiss the one you love under that bridge, you will come back to Italy. Well, I like Italy, so I thought what the heck? But the gondolier wouldn't let me kiss him! JUST KIDDING!
Every year, they have a Carnivale here where people wear masks and fancy costumes. I bought you a mask, which I have shipped back to your mom's address. I think you'll really like it. No more clues. We miss you, but we are learning our way around these watery roads and we never leave our hotel without our fins in case we fall in! Tell Mom hello for me.
Mikey The stud on the front of this postcard doesn't begin to do justice to how hot the men of Venice are! These gondoliers in their little striped shirts and tight pants are a wet dream. Yesterday, I got cruised by two priests when we went through the Basilica. They must have mistaken me for a teenager! LOL! But that's nothing compared to how they hit on Justin. Hello? Am I invisible? PERVS! We got so drunk our first day, we missed our second day. Stayed in bed the whole time. It was...just what the doctor ordered. NO NOT THAT DOCTOR! Anyway, bought you some Venetian porn. I really like this shot of a guy wearing a beaked mask to match his...well, you figure it out. Miss you. NOT. B.
Brian pushed me into a canal and here's a picture of how I looked when they fished me out! DROWNED RAT!!!!! He said it was an accident, but why do I not believe him? This isn't the cleanest water in the world, so if I get some awful infection, tell Mom to sue Brian for everything he owns! You know I'm kidding, right? That picture was really taken on the beach. There's a nice beach here, a little way from the city.
No one wears swimsuits or anything else, which is why you only see my head and shoulders in the picture! DON'T TELL MOM!
The light in Venice is soft and golden and beautiful. I really love it here. Brian and I stayed in yesterday and caught up on our, um, sleep. Will write you from Florence. How is my bone marrow doing? I miss it.
OMIGOD! This has been the most romantic trip of my entire life! Venice is sooooooo romantic, and Brian is like a sex machine, but this time, only with me. No tricks. Went to a nude beach (schwing!) and sunburned my dick! DON'T LAUGH! It HURT! I won't tell you what Brian did to make it better. HAHAHA. I am so in love with him. This is our honeymoon, I guess. It couldn't be better. I never want it to end. The honeymoon, not my relationship with Brian. That's a done deal. Lifetime contract, I don't care what anyone says. The picture on the front of this card is our hotel. You do NOT want to know what it COSTS!! EEEK!!
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July 25, 2004