SILENCE AND TEARS: Introduction
A story of love and redemption by Randall Morgan
Hi, my name is Randall and I love Brian Kinney. Other than my late friend,
Michael Mele, I'm not sure anyone loves Brian more than me. I have devoted
endless hours to writing about Brian Kinney, trying to get my own mind wrapped
around why he means so much to me.
When season five ended, I made no secret of my feelings of betrayal and
anger. I still feel betrayed, but the rage has passed. I feel the people who
were in control of the show hit magic with the relationship between Brian and
Justin, and then they set out to erode it. To do so, they turned Justin into
someone I loathed.
But for me, the love story of Brian and Justin was haunting my creative side.
They were the first sexual, loving, openly gay couple I've ever seen on
television who truly captured me. For that, I will always be grateful. I miss
them. I miss their promise that was never delivered. I hate where they were
left.
I wrote my own Brian/OMC story to try and work through my sense of betrayal,
and it did help vent the rage. My partner is writing a Brian/OMC story that I
find engaging and believable. With Cael, I have written an AU diary that never
allowed Season 5 to exist.
But in my soul, something was missing, and that was the magic that began in
season one, showed signs of reviving in season three and died a terrible death
in season five. I'm ready to take another look at it and to put down in writing
that attempt.
Everyone is welcome to read it.
I apologize in advance to those of you who feel that I am being a traitor to
my rage, to my loathing for what Justin became, for wanting Brian to have a
different happy ending. Please do not read this story and please do not comment
on it and please do not send me your loathing in email or on my rrambles site,
because I get it. I understand. I feel your pain. But for me, personally, rage
is not healthy. And I write. I write what I feel. And I don't apologize for
that. Don't read it. Consider your contempt delivered and accepted.
For those of you who never gave up on the magic, give me a chance. Read it
and hang in there over the rough spots. Tell me how it's going.
This is not a Justin bashing story. If that's what you're hoping for, move
on. This is not a Brian is an innocent victim story. This is my attempt to look
into just how complicated love can be.
The premise is that I accept EVERYTHING that Cowlips gave us, good and bad.
All of it. My only creative reservation is that I get to have my own insight
into motivations.
It begins with the night Justin left Brian to go to New York.
The title is taken from a Byron poem, "When We Two Parted." It's a beautiful
poem, please read it. There is more explanation of it in Chapter 1.
Here goes. Bear with me. I have something to say, I hope you want to hear
it.
Love,
Randall
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